Lalalala~
I haven’t been blogging much lately, here or on my personal one. I think it’s because I’ve started my new journal ever since my birthday haha. C: At the moment I’m feeling really nervous about a number of things (mostly, the new job I have and the requirements needed and also the International Campus Ministry Conference), but God has been blessing me so much that despite all of my worries, I feel so happy.
I’m having a spiritual growth spurt at the moment, haha! I’m learning new things, but the main thing is not just learning… I need to apply what I’m learning as well. That’s the hard part for me. But I’ll do my best. What should I be afraid of?
Also, I’m trying to figure out what my weaknesses are so that I can work on them and try to somehow turn them into strengths. Number one weakness that I must work on: low self-esteem. Huzzah! O:<
The sweetest most inspiring person I know. (Taken with instagram)
Proofreader VS Tutor
Proofreader Pros:
- New environment = new experience
- Living near awesome disciples
- Work seems easy?
Proofreader Cons:
- Pay isn’t glamorous
- Expensive rent
Tutor Pros:
- Good pay
- Closer to home
- A LOT more free time
Tutor Cons:
- Communication barriers, most likely
- Must know all general subjects, not just English
- Far from fellow disciples?
Lalala. Maybe I’ll be a proofreader for just a couple of months, and then I’ll try the tutoring thing. Or maybe I should go to the States and get a job there just to save up money, then come back and take up Multimedia Arts. Hahaha. :|
*confused with life*
Oh God, please give me direction. :(
Feeling kinda sad todayyy…
- Pauline is leaving tonight.
- Brother is leaving tomorrow.
- Final interview tomorrow too.
- Realized how expensive rent is where I plan to work.
- Discouraged. I don’t think I want to work there anymore because of how expensive it is, eep…
- But I want to be there because I love the disciples in QC.
- Not sure if I’ll make it on June 10 during our ACC.
- Thinking about Gerra’s situation.
- Feels heavy somehow?
- I have no one to talk to at the moment…
Blessings Today (5/12/11)
- Rain!
- The feeling you get after cleaning something.
- Organizing music.
- Having a better understanding why Jesus had to die for us.
- Texting friends.
- Cold bus rides.
- Finding a shorter line at the cashiers.
- Hearing good advice.
- Proverbs 31:10-31!
- Getting home safely.
<3
Ho-hummm~
I haven’t been updating my “Blessings Today” lately… It’s hard when you don’t feel like blogging + days become hectic, along with emotions. Yesterday, I realized how much I need to grow up and mature, quickly now. I’ve always depended on my mom or parents to help me with “grown up” things, but I’ve got to learn how to stand on my own soon.
Which is really scary for an introvert like me. Especially because I can’t even speak the native language here. I find it so hard to communicate.
Hmm, things to do: look for a place to stay near Eastwood, read more books, get used to waking up earlier, learn how to start/keep a conversation going… Hahaha.
Also, I’ve been learning so many new things about Jesus & God and I always want to share it here, but I’m not really sure how… I’ll figure it out one day. C: I feel so happy/nervous/scared right now! Haha. But I know God is challenging me because He & I both know I can learn from this.
<3
Reminder to myself:
I am beautiful.
I am beautiful.
I am beautiful.
But I am only beautiful because of God, because He lives in me. Without him, I wouldn’t believe it to be true. Worldly thoughts whisper to me of my physical flaws and emotional weaknesses. I hear them everyday. Even today, my thoughts were yelling “I hate you!” I hated myself because I’m not who I wish I could be.
But I realized God made me this way for reasons unknown to me. Who am I to ask Him what those reasons are? I’ll find out one day, maybe not even during this lifetime. But I should be grateful, because He made me just the way He wanted. He made me beautiful.
Such a hard concept for me to grasp.
